Friday, September 09, 2005
Ok, Ok...so I know I'm supposed to be journaling everyday. I've realized, maybe I've said this before , I don't know, but the battle for me is not in being creative, but in being authentic. So many things have happened in this past month since I've last written, but I'd rather let it swirl around in my head than have it be a contribution. So the first thing is that one of my first milestones, my sister-in-laws baby shower has passed and I can faithfully say that I and other people were present to creativity. I had a huge argument with my husband that day, but I'm clear that being my distinction was what had me get through the day. I had fun picking out decorations and helping with the scheme of the party. I had a great conversation with a woman in the midst of a career change, and even helped a stray cat find a home in the process. I had no idea how having five people in conversations about new careers had anything to do with Creativity, but amazingly I see it showing up. My long time friend and hair dresser talked to me today about her soon to be career change, and asked about coming to Weekend #4 for the course. I had not even contemplated asking her to come, but she was excited about the possibility of it! I had brunch with some friends Sunday morning and one of my friends Allison, talked about becoming an artist full time, and my friend Kathleen talked about whether she was passionate enough about this project she's working on. My third friend Valerie, switched careers at the beginning of the summer and was also talking about the challenges she is facing. I must admit I've been jealous of my friends who have been making progress, because I was feeling left behind. But when I considered that I am a network of conversations, I got really excited. I've been more authentic since this initiative began, more willing to share myself, my triumphs, and my dramas with others, but in a way that doesn't suck them in, but leaves us all bigger. I turned 30 last Thursday September 1, and I am excited to be a woman...What I remember of my twenties is frustration, aggravation, sadness, depression, loneliness, and desperation. And at the same time I felt elation, possibility, love, and community. I am happily moving into more of myself and am present to what I have to give away. I finally found a welding class and started it on Tuesday, and I started a Travel Writing class which I am hugely excited about on Wednesday. Who says I'm not moving as well? Not many anonymous good deeds, but I'm going to keep looking and writing reminders for myself in my car and on my computer. All really is well.
BTW this is NOT my picture but a cool one I found for my "good little girl" collage on the web. I could not find the artist's name, but if you know who it is...let me know.
Posted by funkyurbanchick at 9:27 PM